Naive Interview
I was recently interviewed by a college student for their class project. I enjoy doing these kinds of things, so I thought I would post the resulting response. It seemed worthy of preservation. Here it is….
If you would explain below how you came to where you are in your faith and your journey getting to that place:
I grew up as the church pianist’s son. Mom was at every service and a ton of weddings and funerals. I, naturally, had to tag along because I
was a handful to take care of. I was an active and fulfilled Southern Baptist through college. There, I met lots of different people and had
my horizons broadened. The narrow views I held about things spiritual in nature started to unravel. There were too many questions created by the
doctrinal gaps. I decided to do some exploring and ventured into many ways and philosophies. I never settled into anything, though.
One afternoon while reading some chinese poetry, I had what is poorly termed an insight. I recognized this from the Zen stuff I had read, so I
immediately picked it back up and confirmed my experience. The things I read before and did not understand, were crystal clear this time through.
The insight I had gave me a new perspective, so to speak. As I was reading, I was totally absorbed. I was just starting to make a comment
in my head about what I had read, and I noticed that I recognized the empty mind I had a moment ago. The voice of criticism, or consciousness,
was the guest, and that silence was the home. It is that voice that tells me I am unhappy, and I now have the choice of believing it or not.
I saw my mind for what it was, and I immediately saw all the constructions I had created from it’s incessant nagging and
discrimminating. “That is bad! You should not do that! You know it is bad, so you must be bad too!”
All at once, I could see that good and bad depended on each other to exist, and that picking and choosing among them was a fools errand. The
real situation is more fluid. Without death and destruction, the Earth would become too crowded with insects, people, and plants. There would
be no new nutrients for the soil. Without constant change, plants would not grow from a seed and babies would never develop. To live, you must
depend on death, and everyone and everything is in the same situation. This is a very dynamic situation.
Seeing this, I started training with a Zen Master from Kyoto, Japan. He comes to the US every year and gives lectures. I had a private meeting
with him and he tested me in a very real situation. He invited me to come to his monastery for a weeklong retreat to begin Koan study. These
are the impossible questions that defy logical explanation. “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” I am still working on koans, and will be
for quite some time. These open your experiences and close your mind. Without thinking, you can immediately answer such questions.
Now, having given some background, let’s move on….
1. In Buddhism, what is the meaning/purpose of life?
Short answer- To know that that is a silly question, but to understand the source of it.
Most people have a strong sense of self developed over their entire childhood. This self is very real and is manifested from inside your
body. Your body is a discreet set of things, so it is easy to tie the physical body to a soul or spirit, or a self. When we act out of self
interest, we are reinforcing the imagined boundaries between the self and everything else. Typically, we make many small decisions everyday
that do just that. We choose the clothing that exemplifies the self-image we desire to have, whether it is accurate or not. We say
things and behave one way a! round friends, but become someone else when the parental units show up. We say things about friends, but you would
die if they said something else about you. This sense of self is a constructed thing.
The practices of Buddhism help you see the self as something like an imaginary friend. When the idea of a self is seen through, you see the
self for what it really is, and you are not fooled by it anymore. As a child you probably saw a magician make a ball or a coin disappear. Maybe
you were shown how it was done, or you were told it was just a trick. At that point, you no longer thought that the person was magical. You see
the trick for what it is. The same thing happens with a self.
As you meditate, thoughts come and go. You pay attention to breathing and your mind wanders. You come back to breathing and before long you
are thinking about something different. As you become more disciplined, your mind stops the wandering! , you can maintain concentration for longer
periods. This prevents the constant voice in your head from rattling things that end up making you mad. With a little observation, I think
you will see that you usually talk yourself into being mad or depressed. It starts with a judgement, and then you lay on the associations.
This makes me look dumpy….It is bad to be dumpy….Dumpy people do not have friends…I do not have enough friends…I am dumpy….I hate being
dumpy….I hate myself
All this from a single opinion from an image in the mirror. With meditation practice, you cut off the chain reaction during the initial
judgement. It doesn’t even get a chance to complete the thought.
What does this have to do with the meaning of life?
If the self is just a mirage, what exactly is it that can have a purpose? Who is looking for a purpose? To find a purpose would at best
be temporary anyway! The job before us is to stop thinking about living, and actually live instead. If you want to spend all day thinking, go
ahead. That is your purpose in life right then! If you serve meals to others, that is it too. The purpose does not lie in what you think, it
lies in what you are doing…
Doing work for others makes you overlook you own self. Your needs must be met to help others, so you do not forsake eating and sleeping.
Instead, your own needs are to be met so that you can work for others. This is a major turn in perspective.
2. What are the obstacles/barriers that stop you from accomplishing the meaning of life?
Our senses, taste, sight, hearing, etc are big ones, but a more fundamental thing is attachment. You see something beautiful, and want
to own it. You grow attached to it. You would hate to lose it. We all like things to be different, but the minute something changes, we get
all upset. This is the fundamental reason for stress, or being unsettled. The imagined self craves purpose, satisfaction, and
stability. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as any of those. The only barriers are the confines imposed by the self.
3. What are the solutions?
First, have faith that you can get yourself out of this mess yourself. That is the only faith needed in Buddhism.
Since the problem is really of our own making, we can learn to stop making the trouble. The problem is not an independant foe to defeat. It
is our opinions that make the world a lousy place to live. We unravel our opinions by refraining from hurting others, maintaining an internal
poise, and using wisdom to sort through things to get to the real underlying problem. In all cases, problems come down to a particular
attachment. Get over the idea that an attachment is a reasonable thing, and all the issues stacked on it evaporate.
4. In the end, what are the rewards/consequences in fulfilling or not fulfilling “the meaning of life?”
Here is where a good Buddhist should say something like “You will realize that you have never left Nirvana.” I would say that too, but I
would add that you see that you were never really prevented from “coming back” to it either. We do wander off, drift into daydreams, and lose
ourselves in indulgent things. The point is, the time wasted doing those things cannot bo recovered. Get to life right now. Do not go to your
deathbed having thought all your life about living someday. Life is not a thing, it is an action.
5. Do you have any doubts or questions about God or your belief?
I do not need faith or belief. I AM living, and that needs no further explanation.
6. And last but not least, If you could have ONE question answered by God (if there is one), what would it be?
Sorry, nice try….